No Turning Back

Two years ago today, I wrote out the most important words of my life:

12/20/08


God,

Thank you for not giving up on me and appearing to me. I am today turning my life over to you and I am ready for what that means. Even though I know I am not worthy of the sacrifice you made, I accept Jesus Christ and ask that you forgive all my sins. I am coming to you as a sinner and in repentance for past and current sins. I know I am imperfect but I am trying. Please take me in and help me.

***
I didn't know all that December 20th would eventually mean to me on that day.  I still don't have a complete understanding and won't I suspect until the end.  I know that it is a stake in the ground for my faith not only because of the commitment I made that day, but because of the commitment my friend Steven made that day, and which God revealed in an astonshing way.  (See "Take the Marine to Lunch")

I look at the words I wrote that day and know that they are still true today.  I am grateful that God does not give up on me.  I am grateful He whispers to me.  I turn my life over to Him everyday and everyday stand prepared for what that means, difficult though it is.  I am today equally unworthy of the sacrifice Christ made for me, but accept it all the same as a free gift.  Everyday I praise God for His forgiveness and repent of new sins.  I am a sinner still.  I am imperfect still.  And everyday I surrender my imperfection, all that I am, to Him.

In two years time, God has done so much in me, but there is so much more to be done.  I'm humbled by how much.  Sometimes I wonder how God possibly has time for anyone else because He must spend so much time making my heart right.  Yet, I hold on to Paul's words "I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." (Phil. 3:6)

And, as the song says:  I have decided to follow Jesus.  No turning back, no turning back.